PS

Oh and btw.. 9 days until I depart from this cold, snowy, horribly annoying, bipolar state and enter into my sunny paradise of Arizona <3 I will be tanning, watching hockey, bicycling, and just straight chilllllllllin with my famfam <3 Because they are amazing :) 
#ICANTWAIT




So I went to my iTunes, put it on shuffle and the first song that came up is gonna be my song of the week :) I might do this a lot or just a few times I'm not sure but it seems fun :]


This weeks pick: Memories by Weezer.

enjoy! :]




<3;*

monday night madness

That title is very misleading.. lol I am sorry to inform you that there is no monday night madness, just monday night Harry Potter movie marathon with the roomie and not doing any homework whatsoever :) I know I know, its nerdy to watch Harry Potter... but I can't help it. And its a great way to NOT do homework :)
We did have a snow day today! It was great.. I didn't get anything done other than the essentials of survival like sleep, shower and eat and now the HP marathon :) 


Whatta great day <3




<3;*




lkejfhgiwyahsl 

headaches suck but snowdays don't :)

So I just got out of work and my head has been pounding for the last 6 hours. it sucks.


But anyways I went home for the weekend. It was really nice to get out of here for a couple of days but I definitely needed to come back <3 Over my little get away my guy and I talked and officially ended things. I posted about it in my blog earlier but I was a little heated about it because of some things that were said. Now that I have had time to cool off, I am relieved. This relationship was not healthy at all and even though I loved him, it just was not worth it anymore. Fighting literally everyday can get old, fast. We were together for two years so I am upset yes, but I think the reason being is because I'll miss having someone there in that way. Yeah I do miss him, but like I said the bad outweighed the good and I think it was time for us anyways. I mean I definitely let him push me around and he did not trust me, and as we all know, in any relationship if there is no trust, then there is no relationship. I don't want to ramble on about it though because I just feel repetitive but all I will say is that it's time for a new focus and that is me. :)


So.. Its snowing ridiculously here and I am just praying that we have a snowday. I have this new obsession with True Crime Library books and I ordered a few off of Amazon.com. The books are basically stories of true murder crimes (there may be others but I'm not sure) and the process they go through to solve them. They are very interesting! They were used and cheap and I cannot wait to read them but as usual my studies come first so I have to do everything before I can even pick them up. But, if we do happen to have a snowday then I will lay in bed and snuggle up with one of the books and read it :) That sounds like the perfect way to spend a snowday to me right now <3 And since this headache doesn't seem to be passing, that would be a nice break as well :)


Welppp I am off to put together my portfolio for english and study for.. well pretty much all my classes :)


<3;*

</333

"i wish we never met"

Guys: Don't ever say this to a girl


Girls: If he ever says this to you... walk away and never look back.


I was told this tonight by someone I loved, and honestly it broke my heart. i don't even know what to do, think or say but it hurts. I understand that he may be hurting as well but you just don't say that to someone you "care" about or someone you "love"


honestly. .


Screw you.


*update... IT DOES NOT HURT ANYMORE. 

broken..

we ended things for good.. well he did 


idk whether to be relieved or upset but I am a little bit of both.. 


the second we hung up the phone I deleted him off of everything including my phone [which doesn't help because I know his number by heart] 


so idk.. im upset.. but idfk


</3

yo.

I know I haven't written in a few days and I'm sorry. I have just been busy with work and school and I have been trying to keep my mind off of things but I am back! So don't worry :) lol 


So I had work on Sunday and as usual it was long as hell, but it was fun. I had a little breakdown at one point but my boss snapped me out of it. She has a really good way of doing that and idk what I am going to do when she graduates and leaves me here on my own :( I don't even want to think about it.


I think I am going home this weekend with my friend katie! I am super excited because well for one I need to get outta here for a few days and it'll be nice to go home and see my family and my guy friend who I am still working on things with. One of the big reasons I have decided to go home this weekend was because my friend katie, her mom own a professional photography company and she is looking to hire a sports photographer to do work up at my school soooo since I luhhhhhhhh photography and I go here, then thats basically perfect :) The only problem is I would need my own camera, which my mom has a Canon Rebel which is like the mother of all professional cameras and well I have a Sony Cybershot (whoop...) because I cannotttt in any way, shape or form, afford my own Canon :( But I talked to my mom and since I would not be working until next semester or this summer she said we could figure something out such as getting my own camera [which would make my life] or using hers and keeping it up at school in a safe which would also be amazing! But anyways I am going home to interview with her mom and do some trial shoots! So I am super stoked! I also have to start packing early for Arizona :) whoopwhoooppp !!!!!!! only 16 days now!


So anyways school has been going pretty well. I got back my psychology quiz which was on the brain and I received a B which I know isn't bad but like I said before if you get an A the first half of the semester then you do not have to take the midterm which I would love to not take it! So hopefully that didn't alter my grade too much!


Well I know this is short but I really need to go do some homework 


<3;*

I can't wrap my head around suicide.. how can life be so hard that the only way out is through suicide? Suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is only temporary..You left behind some many who loved you and cared for you.. We could have helped.. if only you would have told us.. or let us. We love you and always will. I know your in a much better place right now and that is the only thing that makes this easier.


Forever in our hearts <3 

bad day.

I just found out that a guy from my high school committed suicide today.. he was a senior. I knew him when I was in high school and we talked once in a while but nothing crazy. I just can't help but feel sad.. He was a good guy, and we were locker buddies </3 


Idk my head is a mess and it has been most of the day.
I can't take this right now.


</3

sidenote.

I hate the elephants who live above me. They are loud as hell and I am convinced that they purposely stomp when they walk just to piss me off. Ignorant assholes.


>:[




<3;*

wahh

my roomie left and I am alone for the weekend.. there is a good and a bad side to this.. 


good: being aloneish


bad: being aloneish in the dark :[


wah :[


But anyways, my friends and I went to Lovers Lane today.. that was definitely interesting. :D


So I had my Psych quiz on the brain today and I don't think I did very well.. I mean I thnk I did alright but not as good as I wanted too. I hope I at least get a B. IDK :[


ugh idk what else to write about.. I have a bunch of hw I should be doing but.. I am doing this instead.


ah :[  


i'll write more later if I think of something that's actually worth writing/reading :]


<3;*

3am

eh.. there :[

night <3;*

okay.

so i'm irritated.. idk why though.. well I do but idk.. its complicated :[


sorry for the unsure-ness.. maybe I can find some pictures/post secrets to help explain my feelings.


<3;*

aidfjadpof

Hey guys! :]


Well today went reallly welllll!


I had my english class which is Creative Nonfiction and I absolutely love it! Its basically creatively writing things that are true.. which I really enjoy! So anyways I had that class today then after I went to the gym. I found $14 on the floor there as well. I found it in one of the hallways upstairs and I looked around to see if anyone may have dropped it but no one was around so I scooped it up! :] That definitely made my day! I worked out for about an hour then bounced! I grabbed some Subway for dindin and when I got back to campus I did my laundry.. it was much needed.. :]


So anyways, I found my camera charger that has been missing since I first got to college lmao. I have lost and then found so many things since I came here. 


Sorry about the quick blog but I really don't know what else to say and I really needta go study for my psychology quiz tomorrow :[ Its on the brain and whatnot soo wish me luck! :]


<3;*

all nighter?

hey errybodyy <3


whatup? Well today has been eventful i guess..? I had psychology this morning which I already told you about and it was fun but best of all i had my comm. test tadaay and I think I did pretty well :] *knock on wood* at least I hope I did!


Once I got back to my dorm I called my mom who I haven't talked to in a couple days which is really weird for me, but I called her and we talked for about an hour about everything so it was nice, but I really miss her :( and my family for that matter. After about 45 min of us being on the phone my dad came home from work and I talked to him for a few as well. I heard my puppy barking in the background <3333333 I miss him soooo much :[ 

This was him when I first got him :] I got him for my 17th birthday <3

This is him now <3 He is so adorable and I miss him :[ 

So anyways, that was my somewhat eventful day! My girl Katie is sleeping over again and she claims we are pulling an all nighter.. i'm not sure why but I highly doubt that will happen. It's only 3 and i'm already beat so we will see how this "all nighter" goes!

Well StumbleUpon is beckoning me so I am gonna go stumble :] If I find anything intriguing I will letttchya know :]

<3;*

23 days until AZ :)

So its Tuesday and I am fighting with my guy friend... shocker.

His dad had a heart attack last night and he is in the hospital and probably will be for a few days so pray for him <3 But this is also the reason that I think he's acting the way he is. So I think I am just going to back off instead of trying to even talk to him because I would hate to have to deal with that and then relationship issues too.

So I had Psychology this morning and it was pretty interesting. We are learning about the brain and neurons and how they work and how when you think your whole brain fires and such.. so I was sitting there thinking about how my brain works when I think.. ? lol its confusing but pretty sweet!

I have a communications test tonight that I don't wanna take! I am somewhat ready for it but I still hate taking tests. I think I have test anxiety, but then again what college student or any student in general doesn't get somewhat anxious/nervous when taking a test.

I am sitting in my dorm right now and I am supposed to be studying but I am blogging and watching Animal Planet Heros Phoenix as I do this and it is sad! These poor animals getting stuck or being neglected.. I just don't understand how people can do such a thing?! But good thing there are people out there who can help.

how can you be mean to this?!?! <3 so cutee :]

Alright well I have to go try and study for this test! Wish me luck!!!!

<3;*

I officially love StumbleUpon

Ah! Okay so the other night I was lying in bed trying to remember old songs from when I was in like, 6th grade and I had pieces of the songs stuck there but I could not, for the life of me put them together and figure them out so I gave up :[ but.. StumbleUpon came to my rescue just now!!!!!!!


here they are <3

Can't Sleep :[

Well... I cannot sleep :[  But its all good because I feel like posting pictures I found on stumbleupon :]

ahh... I love StumbleUpon :]

nightynight<3;*

Don't Let Me Fall *

Before I sleep, here is some music for you :] this song has been played on repeat on my iPod all day :]

nightnight <3;*

Ah, Mondays .. :]

Hello Lovlies :) 


Well today was pretty umm.. I don't even know what word to use... :)


But last night my friend Katie came to my dorm and slept over. It was pretty fun! She's a little crazy and she bought a 2-liter of coke and basically chugged it all on her own. So she gets on this crazy sugar high and she is acting like shes drunk no joke! It was hilarious!! We ended up going outside and just running around to blow off some steam (hopefully). My roommate was sleeping too and she has a 9 am class so we definitely did not want to wake her up! 
This is Katie ----------->
ahaha shes crazy but i luhhhh her <3


So we went outside and she decided that she wanted some sour gummy worms and since the on campus store was closed [it was about 2:30 am] we decided to get my car and drive to 7-11. So we did! I got some gummy bears and she got her worms! It was a pretty funny drive! When we were walking back in from my car, and since the campus was pretty much deserted, we walked like "G's" down the hallway with my Blackberry blaring some music. It was hilarious! And definitely the pick me up that I needed from the fight I had with my friend boy..(idk what to call him atm lol)


So once we got back to the dorm we CRASHED! It was about 4:30 am when we went to sleep and so we woke up around 1 pm :) It was great! 


One problem though... Once I woke up I realized I had an essay [draft only 2 pages long.. thank god] due at 2:30! So I busted my ass to get this paper done, saved it to my flash drive, got a quick lunch with Katie and then went to class. It was when I got to class that I realized I didn't export my paper which was written on a Mac under Pages to a Word Doc and the computers in my classroom are all Windows. So I kinda screwed myself on that one! But my teacher was cool about it! She just told me to submit it online! The final isn't due until the 16th anyways :)


So after my class I went back to my dorm and got all ready for the gym. I go workout everyday with my boss at the school gym and let me tell you... she kicks my ass! She is very motivational and I love it! I need someone like that to push me to work harder than I usually do! So at the gym today I did very well! :)


I had geography after the gym so I went back to my dorm, took a quick shower and headed to class. My geography class goes from 7-10 so needless to say I was pretty beat when I got to class. My professor started lecturing and I was finding it harder and harder to keep my eyes open! Then [this would only happen to me].. you know how when someone is falling asleep in class or church or somewhere they are not supposed to fall asleep, their head kinda bobs and then just drops? Oh yes, that happened to me! I'm not sure how many people actually saw but still it was embarrassing! But it woke me up! So after that I was wide awake! It was definitely an interesting class! 


Ah I miss home :( I am sitting on my bed just thinking about it! But my spring break is in the beginning of March and I am super pumped because my mom, dad, brother and I are all going to Arizona to visit my grandparents who winter out there! I am so anxious to get out of this snow and single digit temperatures and enter into the beautiful 60-80 degree weather out there! I miss it! 


Oh also... I know this is crazy buttt... I am soooooooo excited for the Justin Bieber movie Never Say Never! :) I will be going this Friday to see it, but I will probably be going alone since all of my friends make fun of me about my somewhat obsession :) 


Okay dolls, its past my bedtime! I'll talk to you tomorrow 


<3;*

love isn't always easy.

So I have this friend who I dated for almost 2 years. We dated a solid like, 1 year and 9 months but then things got messed up and I told him I wanted a break.. which I thought was for the best. This was about a week before I came home from college for Christmas break. So when I came home he and I were completley out of touch for the first week and a half, but then idk why or how but we decided to hangout. We went to the hookah bar and thats when he told me he wanted me back. Now if you knew him like I do, then you would find this beyond surprising. He is not the type to come crawling back or even show any emotion of being hurt by our break up. So needless to say, when he told me this I was pretty surprised but at the same time very very happy.


Let me just take you back to when we started dating. Things were great, but he was a little controlling. I never thought anything of it but he and I fought about stupid things.. a lot. If I could sum it up, we fought at least 3 or 4 times a week. He didn't want me to talk to guys, have them as friends on Facebook or in my phone, he told me that the "way I talked to him" sometimes wasn't right or how I should talk. He didn't want me going out or I had to tell him before I would do things and that still pushed it sometimes. So, I pushed my friends away and it was basically just him and I. Now don't get me wrong, he's not this horrible, crazy guy.. no. But he just didn't treat me like I should be. It sucked. I don't know why I held on to him for so long.. or why I still am.


So anyways, after he told me how he wanted me back I told him I needed time and that he needed to prove to me that he was going to change his ways and he said he would. That happened towards the end of December. So he's tried.. yes but we still fight and he still acts the way he used to and I'm not sure what to do at this point. He's put me through so much emotionally and I still put up with it. We are not back together but we are working on it, but still.. if he's not willing to change then I am not going to be with him, and for some reason his pride is more important than our relationship.


The reason I am writing this now is because we are in a huge fight right now.. shocker. It started last night when I got home from work. I work for the newspaper at my school and I get no service in the office so I usually just use my iPod to text him. Since I work all day and have 1235465645653 things to do the second I walk in it's not easy to just text him all day. So I get home from work and to sum it all up for you he said he didn't believe me that I was too busy to text him back as much as I normally can. So I flipped. He started a fight over something stupid (like usual) and I finally said something about it. But he's not the type to admit if and when he's wrong so he didn't. But I was working! It's not like I intentionally ignored him or didn't text him back. 


It's been two days now and we have been bickering back and forth about everything and I am sick of it. I love the guy, but I just feel like he is too much for me to handle. He makes me so mad sometimes and I absolutely hate being like that. He makes me happy when were not fighting and yeah, I love the feeling but I feel like i'm more upset than I am happy most of the time.


I just wish the fighting would stop. I wish he wanted to change like he said he would so we can make this work, but I really don't think he wants to. I think he just wants control and I can't be controlled like that anymore. I just can't. 


</3 :(

New Blog

Hey everyone, I started a new blog because I forgot my password and rarely ever used my old one but I decided that I wanted a new one.

I am currently watching the Superbowl.. and Christina Aguilera messed up the National Anthem.. wow.

but I am rooting for the Steelers, who are behind, and damn.. the Packers just scored another touchdown. :(

But hopefully they can comeback! I am not a very big football fan so it is not an issue to me who wins or loses but according to the Sports Editor for the paper that i work for..

"The Steelers are second best in the nation they're goin all the way!"

So I just took what he said, since he is a sports writer and all, and have been rooting for the Steelers!


Well they lost :( oh well.. somewhere, Brett Favre is sitting on his couch in his crocs mad as hell.