m.i.a.

wow, well I sure went MIA for a while huh? Sorry about that, ever since I came home from school I have just been too busy to even get out my laptop, but no worries, I think I am at that point where I need to do this again. If not to make me happier then to relieve some stress. I have been home for about a month now and I am pretty much ready to go back to school. There is a lot going on that I am not sure whether or not I want to discuss it on blogger yet, but I will keep you guys updated. As of right now however, shit has hit the fan with my family. Everyone is pissed at everyone and its almost as if the siblings are teamed up against the parents. I know this isn't something out of the ordinary, but this family has never felt like this. Yeah, we've had our fights, but nothing ever like this before. And I am not sure when, or how long this will take for it to get better. All I can do right now is stay far, far, far away from here, or at least as far as my car, which is currently past E, will take me. 


I hope this gets better soon, but I am not holding my breath


miss you guys <3;

it's been a while.

how is everyone? Sorry I have been so out of touch lately.
I am doing okay, I've been so  busy with school and work I barely have time to breathe anymore. 
I got really sick today, kind of a 24 hour flu thing. It really sucks :[ I have so much shit to do and I really just want this to go away. I went to the store and bought medicine but it is barely helping so I am going to try and sleep it off. I have finals in a week and I can't exactly concentrate with a migraine. 


Speaking of finals, they are next week! So that means I will be going home next week for the summer :] I cannot wait to GTFO of here.. I make it sound like I hate it, (some aspects I do) but 1. I am beyond homesick and 2. Next year I will be living somewhere ahhmazing, so I am pumped for a nice long break as well as having my own room and such next year.


well, I am off to bed <3;*

i wish

I wish I could bitch about what I really wanted to on here but I can't.
But I am pissed. Whatever, fuck it. 
People need to text me back now so I know what the fuck to do.
I am sick of being fucking used like this. Seriously. Just because you're almost done doesn't mean you don't have shit to do. fuck that.


i'm done. idc anymore. 


done

i'm sorry, but I am in love

<3

<333

i will.

I am going to look like this. idgaf anymore about anything else.

wowza

so i have been up for 42 hours straight. i'll explain later, but for now... gooooodnightttttt


<3;*

quick question.

on info-mercials, why do they say "for two easy payments of $9.99!" Why can't they just say twenty dollars? Its not gonna make your product suck less, or make people more apt to buy it.


lol just a thought :]


<3;*

country

I want a country boy. I've been in this country phase lately and just listening to these country guys sing about love, its refreshing. The rap and bs I usually listen to is so damn degrading to women talking about hoes, bitches and sex. But these country songs are just so sweet. I've decided that I am saving myself for a country boy <3 


So I came home yesterday because my mom had surgery and was in the hospital. She is home now but it is just hard as hell for me to sit here and see her so helpless. It kills me. I know she's getting better day by day, but all she does is sleep and not move. I feel so bad because I know she just wants to get this over with. She just wants to feel better and I want more than anything for her to feel that. Ugh :(


On a better note, I made a hollow book yesterday. I basically took an old hard cover and cut out the inside of the pages and glued them and what not. I found the directions at Stumble :] So yeah its pretty sweet, I'm gonna use it to put my jewelry and knick-knacks in. Idk making it definitely helped me get my mind off of things, but it took a while for me to get all of the pages cut out so my wrist is unbelievably sore right now. It was so worth it.


ah, it has been such a lazy day. I have literally not done anything. But idk what I ca do because I got so bored that I already did my hw.. [i know wtf right?] but I did that and now im just bored :[ all my bests are up at school </3 oh well, I need this I guess


<3;*

when it rains, it pours.

hey guys. So I think I have reached my breaking point. Lots of things happened to me this week that I would rather not discuss but it led me to shut down my Facebook and phone. I think it is for the best, at least for a little while. I need some time to myself, to get myself together and figure things out. I had a very bad week as you can tell.. So i think its the best and only choice. 


I haven't told you the most recent news with the guy that I was dating, then broke up with, then got back together with, then broke up with again and then it just turned into a huge mess, but basically after my trip from AZ he wanted to hangout and I flat out told him no. I was nice about it, I explained to him that I just wasn't comfortable with it and so on. He got mad and sent me this page long email basically telling me that he never did anything wrong, I changed and I am a bitch and basically goodbye. I didn't reply, but needless to say that definitely did not start the week off well. I haven't talked to him since then and I just feel so alone. We dated for 2 years, that is my longest relationship and he was there for some important moments in my life. Graduation, going away to college, and he was there when I had no one else. So it's not that I miss him I miss the thought of him, the feeling of always having that someone I could count on. It sucks but like they say, you have to put up with the rain before we can see the rainbow.. so I am hoping thats what this is.. but you know what they also say..


when it rains.. it pours

wow.

okay I am seriously starting to question the fact that not all guys are jerks. seriously I don't understand why people have to be so mean. idc if its stupid but this shit is important to me. if you are too busy to talk then fucking text me and say so. don't just downright ignore me. it's not like I am going to bitch up a storm. God. I am so done with this. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I thought that letting go of the guy who hurt me and treated me badly would improve my life, and don't get me wrong, it has, but when it comes to guys.. i just don't fucking get it. If you're an asshole, you won't get anywhere. So why the fuck do you do it. 


fucking done.

don't read if your gonna bitch.

I am sitting in bed like a pathetic baby, crying about being sick. well guess what.. this blog is going to be the biggest rant so if you get offended easily, don't read it. Im pissed the fuck off and i don't even know why. every little thing can and WILL set me off. I am sitting in bed with the fucking flu. I have a goddamn test tonight that I haven't even studied for and don't fucking PLAN on studying for cuz I don't give a fuck right now. I'm pissed at the fucking male population because all they fucking do is think with they're tiny ass dicks. I'm pissed at myself for forgetting about my english assignment. I'm pissed at my ex for being the biggest jerk and also pissed at myself for ever fucking talking to him. FUCK TODAY. 


so needless to say..

long time no talk

so I know I promised a play by play on my vacation, but unfortunately I had no wifi ... ANYWHERE.. so that was legit impossible :( but my lovesss I will update you soon.. i'm sick and I just want to sleepp
don't hate me :]


<3;*